


blink back to let me know

by smallredboy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is Trans, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Aaron doesn't feel well about being a later addition to the relationship. His four boyfriends are there to comfort him, though.





	blink back to let me know

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt i got like, two days ago was "Don't say you love me" with the OT5 (aka poly revset + burr) and i ended up writing 0.9k of this. thanks to saadia for betaing and destroying the original draft. and thanks to tumblr user thaurens for the prompt!

Aaron sometimes goes all quiet— even quieter than usual. He’s on edge, anxiously biting his fingers and shuffling his feet. 

They’re sitting in the kitchen when Alexander tries to hug him, hand on his side and his head close to his. Aaron doesn’t feel up to having physical contact or anything, sighing and letting their fingers intertwine. 

“I just… Alex?” He doesn’t finish the sentence, and Alexander tries to hug him again.

Aaron pushes away, his lip between his teeth. His face is scrunched up in something like pain, but Alexander knows it's not physical, and just what happened to one of his boyfriends?    
  
"Aaron, love, are you alright? I..."   
  
"Don't say you love me," he whispers, and he's  _ upset _ , and Alexander stares, perplexed.

"It's you four, best friends and lovers since forever— and then there's me." He sputters out. He’s anguished, by the way his voice sounds; angry, his knuckles white. Alexander gets it; suddenly, it clicks and he understands where his boyfriend’s coming from, and his heart tears apart. 

For once, he's left speechless. Hoping John and Herc come back from the grocery store soon, he takes Aaron's hand in his and tries to look for the words.   
  
"Aaron, it's not just you and us." He tightens his grip on Aaron's hand, and his boyfriend sighs, his eyes welling with tears. "All five of us are a  _ unit _ . If you feel othered, you should tell us to remind you how much we all appreciate you."    


Aaron mutters, his voice cracking again; "You all have been together for longer than you've been with me.”   


"And?" Alexander asks, searching for answers in Aaron's eyes. Aaron looks back at him, eyes wide, speechless.

" _ And _ ?" Alexander insists, "We all love you! I know it's not easy to reason against these thoughts, so do you just want to cuddle with me and Laf?" Aaron’s muscles tighten. Alexander lays a gentle hand on his thigh, and he nods stiffly.   
  
"I'm sorry," Aaron mutters.    
  
Alexander shakes his head before kissing his forehead gently. "It's okay. Let's go to the living room." He gives Laf a look when they get there and Laf understands what's going on the second after. 

Alexander pulls Aaron onto his lap. Aaron looks at him, lips parting slightly in shock, and Alex places a kiss on them. Aaron melts into Alexander’s lap, softly muttering his name. His head lands on Laf’s lap, and Laf strokes his hair lovingly, whispering sweet nothings into his ears. Aaron’s eyes close as he sinks into his boyfriends, his heart calming.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby," Laf coos, putting a hand on Aaron's cheek and rubbing their noses together. Aaron sniffles and stays still, eyes still shut, not saying a thing.    
  
The front door swings open.

“We’re  _ home!”  _ John and Herc scream in sync, laughing, Herc’s arm around John.

They look at the three cuddling on the sofa.

"Uh… hey," John starts, his hand on the strap of his binder, "Something happened while we were gone, I’m guessing?"   
  
"Aaron didn't feel well," Laf explains, glancing at them both in the hopes they’d understand.   
  
"Ah," Herc nods, grinning cheekily. "Could we join, perhaps?”   
  
"I like that idea," Aaron says, voice rising a few octaves.

"Alright then," John says, smiling, throwing the groceries on the floor, and jumping onto the sofa with them. The three snort and wrap their arms around him, as John struggles to break out of Alexander’s grip on his neck. The lovers arrange themselves, from left to right; Laf, John, Herc, and Alexander. Aaron lies down, sprawled across them, his head on Alexander's legs. "And what was he upset about?" John whispers to Laf, his eyebrows raising.   
  
"He thought we don't love him because he was a later addition," Laf whispers back.

Everyone gasps in shock. Aaron's tears flow now, and Herc’s about to ask if he's alright when he notices the smile on his lips. He's crying from happiness. 

"See? We love you, baby boy, so much you don't even imagine." Alex says, running his hands through his hair and wiping his tears.   
  
Herc bends over uncomfortably to give Aaron a peck on the lips, and Aaron hooks his hands in the nape of his neck, fingers in his hair. "I love you, Aaron, so, so much."   
  
While Herc wipes his tears away with his sleeve, he smiles. "Thank you," he says, hoarse; "Thank you so much, guys."   
  
Herc grins wide and toothy, Alexander kisses Aaron and everything is alright. Laf gets up to sit on the other side of the couch and kiss all over Aaron's neck and face. 

"We love you, mon amour, we all love you more than words can give." He declares passionately. The group groans, accustomed to his dramatic love declarations. Aaron feels a smile coming on.   
  
"Aaron," Alexander speaks up, and he glances at him with that  _ knowing  _ look. "Can I write an essay about you?"   
  
" _ Alexander _ ," he complains.    
  
"About how  _ handsome  _ and  _ important  _ you are?" he puts emphasis on handsome, knowing Aaron's dysphoria gets the best of him with adjectives. 

"It'll be MLA format, double-spaced, Times New Roman, font size 12."  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. "You're cheesy in your own weird way, you know that?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, he's more than aware," John interrupts as he turns to kiss Herc. It's soft and sweet, lips meeting and their noses bumping a few times.   
  
"So," Alexander starts, "we love you. A lot. Okay?"  
  
Aaron grins. "Okay." He gets off their laps and kisses each and every one of them once, his lips ending up quite swollen. "I love you all."  
  
Alexander hugs him tight and kisses his neck. And he realizes he'd do anything for this man.   



End file.
